just popped in my head

With a deep pang of discomfort I realized that in my adult world with all the stupid struggling and anxiety and self doubt, the source of my courage to live, to change, to persist is at the center of my "inner child". Where all that fairy princess hope still exists. Doesn't that seem to be a bit of a conflict? Doesn't that mean I should be reconsidering the part of my life considered adult?

Scared Rabbit

I love how I ran into my ex on Friday night, and he ran away so scared. If I had to put his expression into words it would have said this: "I am such a douchebag. She is so hot. And so awesome. I acted generally like a jerk when we were together. Man was I an idiot. I'm now going to run the F away."

Ok, that might be an exaggeration. But he WAS gape mouthed and dopey shocked. And he DID run away.

Thankfully, I had had the presence of mind to wear an awesome outfit that evening.

Overall a satisfying experience.

babies

EVERYONE I KNOW HAS HAD A BABY IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS. WHAT'S UP PROCREATORS!!??!

hammerhead sharks

a hammerhead shark can detect a half a billionth of a volt of electricity. this is more than enough to pick up the heartbeats of fish. they're the only being to hunt using electricity on this planet. i'm so amazed. thank you animal planet.

SOS

I'm sending out a distress signal. I'm now on my fourth hour of Rock of Love. Brett Michaels is a loathsome human being. Pretty much a douche. He loves the word "awesome". A whole lot. He says "Here's the thing...".

And there are women who continue to want to sleep with him. I'm pretty sure these women had collagen injected in their brains. OOPS! I missed your upper lip! I cannot relate to a single one of them. They make me itchy. But I need to see this competition through.

What cracks me up is his ridiculous decision making skills. "Yes, she's manipulative. Yes, she's lied to me, but she's doing what she has to to get her man, and I like that."

Yet, I feel i need to see this through. I need to know who is chosen to be his ROCK OF LOVE.

fabulous one liner

"That kid's fruitier than Carmen Miranda's hat rack."

I will be applying this liberally.

another bathroom thing

yet another wrapper on a society obsessed with sealable airtight products.

What in the F is the deal with toilet seat liners? Why are we using these? Is it to absorb the pee drops some women can't resist leaving on a public toilet seat (another blog altogether)? Disappointingly and frrom experience, it doesn't absorb the pee enough. Are they some magical barrier preventing the spread of all those nasty toilet seat transmitted diseases my great aunt warned my mother about? Or the crabs my sophomore year college roommate claimed she got from a toilet seat? Could their plague have been avoided?

Women who use these possibly-thousands-of-butts-touching-the-same-place preventers seem overly fussy to me. And they seem like germaphobes. These are the same women who harass their hands with antibacterial gel several times a day. We live in a world crammed full of people and its getting more crowded. Toilet seat liners aren't going to prevent a damned thing.

But PS: Here's what I LIKE about the toilet seat liners. It's fun to pee on the middle part until it collapses into the toilet. Although I don't like it enough to continue using them after my These-Are-Useless realization.